Friday, January 21

Perempuan Macho

dah nak masuk tiga tahun. everything's at home seems to move very fast. i could hardly catch up. kalau dah duduk jauh beribu batu, you'll miss some important occasions in your family. cousin paling rapat bertunang chinese new year ni. congrats abang faiz. and one of my cousins was diagnosed with leukemia, final stage. i was taken aback as i thought everything was okay. hospitalized now and please pray for his speed recovery.

siapa kata jarak tak bagi kesan pada sesuatu hubungan memang penipu besar. as a sister, i'm a failure. i wasn't there when my sister first fall in love. when she first had her period pain. she hardly talk to me and that makes me feel sad, and bad too. i was overwhelmed. it's frustrating having to see her being all happy with her friends but hardly utter a word when she's with me. you know what i mean.

aku memang salahkan jarak dalam kes ni sebab dalam 365 hari, aku jumpa dia 5-6 kali je.


sepanjang hampir tiga tahun, banyak occasion kat rumah yang aku miss. birthday aku tahun lepas, nenek meninggal on the same date. tak jejak pun lagi kubur arwah. birthday adik-beradik semua memang tak pernah dapat celebrate sama-sama. dengan kawan-kawan pun jumpa time balik summer je. raya tak payah cakap la memang good bye la lemang. yang paling sedih, mama abah sakit pun tak dapat nak jaga. cuma dapat doa dari jauh. kalau dalam family rasa macam terlalu lagging.


i guess that's the price i have to pay; for living too far.


tapi takpe you jangan risau, i kental. i perempuan macho. walaupun sekali sekala i nangis jugak dalam comforter.