Friday, May 15

An Open Letter

Chaos. Mess.

Some say it should be canceled.
While some say,"Ala,swine flu je,apa nak takut?".
You'll still have the chance to get it anyway,no matter where you go.

It's true. But I'm not going.
Midwest Games 2009,I choose to wave you a good bye.

Honestly,it's not about the flu that I am worried about.
It's about restu. I told mum that I'm going to Illinois, and being the most protective mum in this whole universe ever,she said "no". I tried to convince her, the same way I did when I decided to fly to London,alone. But this time around, when she said,"Kalau tak sayang,pergila". I was taken aback. Silenced in confusion. Leaving me to a cross road.

And I am here to ask you,if your mum said like that,will you still go?Yes,yours would never say that. But mine is different and I respect her,she's my mum afterall.

I am sad.Who doesn't anyway?

We've sacrificed tonnes of sweats and tears. We've been kicking like mad for the past 3 months. We lost 10,but we're not ashamed. Cause we're proud,as a team. We are one.

When I picked a decision, I didn't influence anybody not to go. I swear. It's an individual choice and it's the hardest thing to do,ever. I want to play,I want to go,I want to win. But I don't have the blessing. If I were to go,it's just feel not right without it.

To the captain, to the ketua kelas, to the manager and teammates,leaving the team is the hardest thing to do.I am overwhelmed with guilt. Berat hati,I must say. We've been through ups and downs.We've lotsa memories together.

Captain,if you are reading this,sorry for causing you so so so much trouble.I knew you are very upset.I know everyone was mad when I took the decision of quitting and I know that I will never gain the trust back.

But here I am, wishing all of you the best of luck. My doa,my soul will always be with Bulan.
All the best to our contingent.

Again,
thousand apologies.