Lotsa dreams to chase, money to make, happiness to find and heaven to go. 2013; wishing everyone a great year head.
Wednesday, January 2
Thursday, May 17
i wish the words in my brain write themselves on a piece of paper. i've written a lot of stories while waiting for the light to turn green, while queuing up at hawker stall for a coconut shake that tasted like vanilla clouds. june is approaching and i labeled it as a month full of weddings. i got 3 wedding invitations on the second alone, one each on first and third total up to be five only for the first week of the month. at this age going to the weddings mean you can't escape from the inevitable question, so when is your turn? whenever i attended friends'/family solemnization i will look at their faces and wonder what they're feeling inside. people have very warped conception of marriage. i will still be the same person he fell in love with, not a total new different person. he is still the same person with a smile of an early morning sunshine.it's just a marriage vow not a personality transplant. i would still miss him so much that the urge is overwhelming. the 'i can't wait for work to be over cause we have a dinner date at home' kind of overwhelming.
my favorite marriage quote, " if i get married, i want to be very married" - audrey hepburn.
Friday, April 20
Monday, April 16
i made a solemn promise that i would be completely submerged in my secret mission; in which solemn is now becoming hollow. last few weeks i met a cool guy working as a manager in a glass building in the heart of KL. we had a laid-back chat despite the occasion and function i attended which supposed to be very formal. i told him i don't like my job i whine on how dreadful it is to get up and go to work (not that bad, actually). we talked about our 'proud' public transport system, of job-hopping and passion then he looked at me and said, 'you reminds me of who i was; young, independent, brave'. reflection. once, he was very determine to find passion and satisfaction that he forgot that those took a marathon, and not just a quick sprint. mutually, we went on and on.
i drove back and think. all my life i have deeply valued the clarity of passion. i root for being passionate about what you do. i envy people with passion. i thought a sprint will do too but i was wrong. i thought i can instantly found passion like a fat kid who goes crazy over chocolate. i started to look at the whole situation from different perspectives. some may start running by now but i guess i don't mind walking. i went back to my cubicle and fixed things. instead of seeing apple as just red, i started to see it as apple pie,Snow White & Steve Jobs and 5th Avenue (for examples) hoping it will work. today i'm alive, dyed my hair once, missing the States and living in a town full with married couples, jog twice or trice? every week, hiked few hills and mountains, braving the long days and captivated by the amount of tourists taking pictures in front of my green office, i should be more thankful neither will give up.